5 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and 5 Alternatives to Use Instead
Navigating life can be difficult. It is my hope that I am able to provide you with some alternative healthy coping skills to counteract some common unhealthy coping mechanisms. I hope you join me with a nice cup of coffee, get comfortable, and are ready to find some healthy coping skills that will work for you!
{Remember- YOU have the power!}
It can be easy to turn to what we feel is most comfortable for us in the moment. If any of these unhealthy coping tools resonate with you, please know that you are not alone! I hope you can understand your current strategies and how some of these alternative ones can help foster lasting change and health!
1. Let to of Negative Self Talk —-> Embrace Affirmations
Negative self-talk can be almost unconscious and completely natural for us. If we feel like we made a mistake, it is normal to place blame on ourselves. However, negative self talk can be a dangerous strategy as we start to go down a rabbit hole and start tearing ourselves apart. Instead, we can remind ourselves of positive self-talk and affirmations. When we find ourselves engaging in negative self-talk, the first step is to catch it. Once we are able to catch that thought, we have the power to check it and change it. If you find yourself engaging in this strategy often, I encourage you to have a list of positive affirmations you have about yourself that you can refer back to. If this is hard to do alone, counseling is a great place to start with support to change this pattern!
2. Let go of Substance Use —----> Embrace Mindfulness or Meditation
Substance use can be appealing to drown out the pain, stress, sadness, or anger. However, substance use is a temporary block to this pain and doesn’t do anything actually to address the issues at hand. At the end of the day, those emotions and feelings are still there. If you resonate with turning to substance use as a coping strategy, I encourage you to try mindfulness or meditation. This is a great technique that allows you to destress in a healthy way while not suppressing those emotions. One of the most common ways to do this is yoga or meditation. By doing this, you are able to “take a break” from life as you would with a substance and recenter yourself in a healthy and nonharmful way. If you feel that substance use is something you are struggling with, we are here to help!
3. Let go of Self Harm —----> Embrace Breathing Techniques
Self-harm is one of the most common strategies people turn to to feel something again when the world may seem like it is crashing down on you. However, it can also be one of the most dangerous ones. To combat this, when you have these urges or feelings, I encourage you to turn to breathing exercises to control your emotions. One of my favorite exercises is to inhale for about 2-3 seconds, pause, and then exhale for about 4-6 seconds. This helps you recenter, refocus, and gain control. Another wonderful technique we can use is grounding. Similar to breathing techniques, grounding can help you focus on a specific task, which can ultimately help you de-escalate yourself. An example of grounding could be putting things into categories. For example, listing all of your favorite movies, colors, shows, etc. If you would rather try something else, you can also focus on counting backward from 100 to 50, and so on. This is a great way to come back to regulating your emotions in a safe and healthy way. If self-harm is something you experience or struggle with, I encourage you to talk to your therapist for more information and techniques.
4. Let go of Isolation —---> Embrace Talking it out
Isolating yourself in states of overwhelming emotion may feel nice in the moment. However, at the end of the day, those emotions still remain. Spilling everything to everyone at the same time may not be very appealing. However, having one or two safe people you feel comfortable sharing with is just as important. Having somebody, whether it is your counselor, mom, dad, sister, friend, etc., can help you get the emotions off your chest and may help you verbally process your feelings safely and comfortably. It may be uncomfortable, but I encourage you to find one person you feel comfortable with and try to start sharing. Remember, this is a process; the small steps matter!
5. Let go of Aggression —----> Embrace Moving your Body
Being angry and frustrated is not uncommon. When you are flooded with emotions, it is normal to react in frustration. When you feel yourself getting irritated, I encourage you to find a way to move your body to help get your emotions out instead of pushing toward aggression. This could look like going for a run, going to the gym, yoga, etc. Moving your body is a healthy way to release your emotions while maintaining healthy relationships with others.
