Spotlight: Introducing Niah Kalpak

What inspired you to become a counselor, and what do you find most rewarding about your work?

I have always been called the “therapist friend”. In high school when it was time to figure out what to do with my life, I learned about music therapy. I was really involved in the music world- helping people through playing music all day? Sign me up! In college I figured out the route I had to take to complete this plan was not what I wanted to do, so I switched my major to psychology with a minor in entrepreneurship instead of music. My major class requirements allowed me to find an internship; this is really where my love for counseling began. Now, throughout grad school, I have growing inspirations within holistic approaches, spirituality, and women’s health. I am inspired daily by the everchanging human brain and body- there is always so much to learn. 

As I sat in on sessions and group sessions I learned so much about people and all the things that life throws at them: death, disorders, diagnoses, traumas, setbacks, transitions. All of these things were so new to me- boy troubles from friends is what I was used to, but this was the first time I started to see a variety of hurt and grief. After this realization I started to consider it an honor to sit on the other side and be trusted with these big stories. It is most rewarding to see hope and resilience distilled in clients. Helping others find a way out of places they thought had no way out, seeing broken identities become whole and confident, and seeing hope and resilience slowly restored back is rewarding to walk through with people. 

Can you describe your counseling approach and what clients can expect during a session with you?

I consider love and curiosity to be pillar values in my life, and in the counseling room that is no different. I see each client as a unique entity yet all similar creations from God, just like myself. Viewing a client worthy of belonging, having a place to feel safe and free of judgement is at the forefront of my goals in sessions. I take an eclectic approach considering methodology, but at the end of the day I value the therapeutic relationship over any technical intervention I could learn. I think therapy is meant to feel relational, not like a doctor’s visit. I am human too, and I hope clients feel just as comfortable in my office as they would at coffee with a friend. 

What are some common misconceptions about therapy that you wish more people understood?

The biggest misconception I hear through reluctance of going to therapy is that what you bring in will be “too much” for a therapist to handle, or you will “scare us”. Being a therapist is not an easy task to complete. It takes years of schooling and training to best equip us with the smallest of anxieties to the biggest of traumas. I might not always have the right answer, but your story and issues are not too big to tackle. 

Another misconception is that therapy is a quick fix. When children and adults come into therapy, there are years of learned behaviors, thoughts, and patterns to unlearn- that takes time! Sometimes longer than we would like. The therapy process isn’t just ranting to someone. The therapy process is actually you learning how to rewire your brain and body to respond and react differently than you probably always have. It takes time for healing, and it is a total misconception that you should be “fixed” in a few sessions. It also is not up to your therapist to fix these things. We can guide you through ways of how to change the ways that haven’t been serving you, but ultimately it is up to you to do it. 

Finally, the last misconception is that you need to go to therapy because you need “better advice”. If you are getting advice from a therapist, you probably should find a new one! The role of a therapist is not to give advice because only you know what you need in life. My role would be to ask questions for you to figure out what is mostly in alignment with your values and what you are wanting out of life, not me. Your therapist should never tell you what to do. 

What are some of the most common issues you help clients with and how do you approach these challenges?

Issues that I am passionate about are related to life transitions, identity, women’s issues, and spirituality. Growing up (even as an adult) in a society filled with opinions, advice, and corruption, it is so hard to know where to go, who to be, or even what to believe. My approach is holistic and integrative, meaning we approach these challenges together. We will collaborate on your goals for therapy, and I will pull from techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). If you are interested in integrating your faith into this journey I also can approach things from that lens as well. 

How do you stay updated with the latest developments in mental health and counseling practices?

Being in grad school I am learning so much about foundational practices as well as newer developments. A part of being a good clinician is always seeking to learn more about how we operate. The human experience is never stagnant; our DNA, new studies on what we put in our bodies, how technology is changing us, generational differences, the list truly goes on. Reading books, research journals, and continuing education classes is very important to me to stay up to date and best support clients. 

What advice would you give to someone considering therapy for the first time?

Jump in! Going to therapy is cool now. It is cool to be kind, it is cool to know why you do what you do, and it is cool to change to better yourself, inner circles, and the world. If the thought came into your head, that means something you’re doing probably isn’t working on your own. There are so many things that inhibit us from knowing how to handle conflicts and hardships in our lives, so there is no shame in asking for help. Not knowing how to do it all is normal, and I wish more people realized that. We live in a society where if you don’t know what you’re doing, or if you’re not hyperindependent, you’re not good enough. I just want to know who started that, because why would we think that we know it all? Now, I’m not saying that I know it all either, but therapy is a space to explore your thoughts and feelings in a way you might not have been able to before. You’re challenged to grow yet accepted just as you are at the same time, and most people haven’t existed in a space like that. That’s why therapy is cool. 

What do you enjoy doing outside of work, and how do these activities influence your counseling style?

Outside of work, I enjoy photography. Viewing people, situations, and stories through my own lens is something that I have learned to love. Looking for moments no one is looking for during a wedding ceremony or beautiful experience with God at church, watching girls be girls getting ready for an event, realizing a senior in high school is nervous for his senior photoshoot, I think photography has taught me the art of noticing the quiet things. Noticing what is going on within myself and clients is so important during a counseling session. Recognizing secret languages (emotions and body language) on people I don’t deeply know yet is something I have been doing for over a decade through photography. Capturing God’s creations, humans and nature, has been such a joy and it has taught me to appreciate all creation put in front of me.

I also enjoy a good self-care day. I know, it’s so on brand as a therapist to say this, but it’s true. I love long walks, window shopping (okay maybe real shopping), workout classes, creating something fun on Canva, taking a nap when I feel like I need it, saying no to a night out… I truly get a dopamine hit when I do something positive for myself. This is a huge part of being a good clinician to you, but also knowing how to help you figure out what this looks like for you. Finding little joys can be hard in some seasons for sure, but once you figure out what you need to keep going, you can be unstoppable. 

How do you measure progress and success in therapy, and what milestones do you celebrate with clients?

Measuring progress is always happening throughout sessions. This could be through re-taking science driven assessments or even a client telling a story of how they set that new boundary. Success and progress is tailored to each client and is different for everyone, so no progress tracking fully looks the same. Celebrating milestones that aren’t therapy related is also important to share, I would love to hear wins like if you’re graduating, just had a baby, gained a grandchild, or celebrated 20 years at your company. Again, the therapeutic relationship is relational, so hearing about the good things happening in your life creates a balance between the harder work that goes on.