Managing Emotions During the Holidays: Overcoming Perfectionism & Beating Stress

While the holidays can bring joy, laughter, and fun, they also can be times of immense loneliness, depression, conflict, and anxiety. Here are some tips that might alleviate some of the stress and help you actually relax and enjoy what the holidays can bring.

• Accept your emotions instead of “shoulding” yourself. What might this look like? “I shouldn’t be sad during the happiest time of year, I’m not excited to go to this work party and I should be. I should have planned ahead of time with gifts. I should enjoy being around my family.”
• Allow the messy and complex emotions to come. The holidays bring up sadness, grief, loneliness, and stress, and that is OKAY. When feeling these emotions, ask yourself what you might need or what might help when you are feeling these emotions.
• Prioritize your self-care routine. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you drinking enough water and eating healthy while also of course letting yourself enjoy some treats? Are you moving your body?
• Be realistic about family dynamics. Contrary to what it may seem like in Hallmark movies, families are ALL complex and there is no “perfect” family!
• Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! You know yourself. Plan ahead for a life-giving holiday season instead of a life-draining holiday season. How long do you need to stay at the dinner? Do you need to commit to that task? Can you delegate? What do you need to say yes to and what can you say no to?
• Create holiday traditions that bring YOU joy. What is something you have always wanted to do but maybe never have because of others? This is a year for you to do something that lifts your spirits!
• Be aware of comparison! Social media will likely be booming this time of year with everyone’s picturesque family photos and top-end meals. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of believing you are not good enough compared to them. Likely they are only portraying the “instagram” worthy version of reality and not the mess!
• Take purposeful moments of rest. With shopping, meal planning, parties, etc. this can be both a physically and emotionally exhausting time of year. Listen to your body and your needs. It is okay to say no to something… boundaries!
• Practice gratitude. Though the holidays are meant to be filled with gratitude, we often think about what we don’t have or compare ourselves to others. Gratitude can enhance our overall spirits during this time instead of being filled with negativity.
• Know your limits. It is completely normal to ask for help with planning something and you can speak up and say something.
• Spend time with those who are truly life-giving for you. Just because our culture says you have to be with your immediate family, show yourself love by embracing connection with those who you enjoy being around.
• Reach out for professional support to one of our trusted counselors or coaches if you need it. We know both personally and professionally how stressful this time can be, and we don’t want you to have to walk it alone!

May this season bless you wherever you are at emotionally – grief-stricken, joy filled, lonely, overwhelmed, cheerful, or busy. May you honor your emotions and meet them with acceptance. May you take time for yourself and what you need. May you show yourself the love and grace that you deserve in order to have an inner sense of peace during this time of year.