Helping vs Hovering – How to Tell the Difference and the Pros and Cons of Each Approach

As the new school year begins, both children and parents have a chance to reevaluate their approach to school.  Parents tend to automatically fall into a type of role regarding their children’s academics based on their own history of academic success and the type of student their child may be.  However, taking a step back and being more intentional with how you approach your child’s academic life may be helpful for both of you.  Here are some tips to keep in mind as you figure out how to engage with your child this school year and determine if you are helping or hovering.

Helping

• Staying on the sidelines
• Waiting for them to ask for help
• Redefining the perception of failure
• Modeling “risks” and “mistakes”
• Praise children’s efforts vs results pain

Hovering

• Being overprotective
• Putting excessive pressure on children
• Micromanaging
• Intense desire to provide a different childhood
• Limiting children from experiencing failure

While parents have the best of intentions in setting their child up for success, the more they can stay on the helping side vs the hovering side can benefit not only their child but their own mental health as well.